I try to answer as many stretching questions as I can, because I'll see people answer them and be like "You can skip from an 8 to a 4, I did it and it ripped and bled but I'm fine now" or saying you can wear tapers and stuff.  I like to tell them everything I learned from this awesome site.  I even found a young kid who had been doing everything wrong, but I caught him at a relatively small size [8g, I think] and told him about BAF.  He emailed me the other day, saying how he appreciated my answer, and has purchased a couple of the poor person's kits, Satin soap, jojoba oil, and other neat-o things for his next stretches.  It warmed my heart a bit!

 I'm not on there too often, but I try as much as I can to educate both the people with the question and the ones answering incorrectly. Sometimes, though, it's almost too much. I do like how there seems to be a few "top contributors" that know what they're talking about in that area. Do you have the same screen name on there?

 

Liganna:

I'm down with being "Lame mom".

My mom felt the same way when I was a kid.   I thank her for it now though.  I would have killed myself with a dirt bike, and the one time I did wear pads while skateboarding, I cracked a helmet.

 Let your kids say what they will.  If they're sane, they'll thank you later.

 well im 17 now, but when i was younger, like 11 i think me and a friend thought it would be a good idea to put his older brothers tapers through our ears. I think I came home with a 12g taper in, mum was not happy haha. But now im doing it the propper way she doesnt care. I also got a tattoo just after my 17th birthday, went behind my parents backs to get it as well, parents were not happy.

scruffy:

jesskaface:

our bodies don't stop growing until our 20's....

 

Our brains aren't fully developed until then, either...

Our brains don't fully develope until we're 40.

And I think it's ridiculous and disrespectful to go behind your parents. I used to get shit from my mom all the time, "Not under my roof!" and now I totally understand. Your parents love you and just want to protect you. If you don't like it, move out. Then do it. And when you do, hide it. My mom knows I have tattoos, piercings, and that I smoke, but I cover my tats and piercings, and I never smoke around her, just out of respect. Your parents put up with your shit (literally), dish out thousands of dollars, and give up their time, and in your mother's case, her figure, for over 18 years. You could show some kind of respect and love that they deserve. Don't be a brat.

 wrinkledamanda mum doesnt mind about my stretches, she knows im 17 and its what i want to do to my body, and for the tattoo, after she got over the shock she accually decided she liked it. But common, I know im probally going to regret my tattoo later in life but it will all be memories. I do show my parents respect but when im a 17yo and can pretty much do anything I want, why cant I have a say over my own body....

I had moved out and everything when I got my tattoo, and my mother still doesn't like it. Sigh. You got lucky with that one. She and I are just two different people, and it angers her. But I do what I can to keep my mom from getting too much grey hair.  

As far as having a say over your body, I think when parents don't want their kids to do something, it's to protect them; they want us to have good jobs and be financially stable, as well as mentally and physically stable. They don't want you to do permanant things because it could hinder your ability to find a good job. There's all these rumors and lies about when you pierce something you could hit a nerve and die or suffer paralysis from it, and people actually believe it. My mom is positive that I'm depressed (I'm not and I don't know where she gets that), and she thinks body modification is a manifestation of that, and she said flat out that it hurts her.

Basically, just humor them and show that you posess enough responsibility and patience and wait. Respect is a very abstract concept that means different things for different people, and I'm not sure where I'm going with that. Especially when you're 17, 18, you're torn between respect and blind obedience. Meaning that you want your parents to see that you appreciate them and all they've done, but you're ready to be your own person. Talk it over with your parents and show individuality in another way. Lots of times, if you show them that you can be mature (don't blow up and start whining), they'll bend a little bit. Otherwise, them's the rules. I'm tired and I don't remember what I was saying, but there it is.

 We will always be their babies no matter how old we are.

miss elaineous:

snowstarz:

 Yeah!! There needs to be more smart and patient "kids" like Lana!

Agreed!  She seems to have a good head on her shoulders.

Another thing... I'm so sick of going on Yahoo Answers and seeing all these questions like "I'm 13, how can I convince my mom to let me get snakebites?" or "I wanna gauge bigger but dad won't buy me bigger plugs, what household objects can I use?"  Then again, Yahoo Answers is a total joke anyway.

I'm honoured.

On the "things that bug me" front, here's a good one: when kids either a) aren't allowed to get a piercing or b) just don't want to pay $70 for it, they go and get 'a friend' to pierce them. I actually know a girl like this. Upon learning I have my hips pierced, she told me she wanted them, but they were so expensive so she thought she'd get her friend to do it because "she has the proper needles and everything!" This scares me - the thought of paying a 14-year-old to stab you willingly?! Not smart. Plus - if you really want the piercing, you definitely have the time to save for it.

 Yet another child here xD

I'm 16 and i've been into mods for about 5-6 year. As soon and i found out about stretched ears, i was so into it. I had my lobes pierced and a little while later, had my second holes pierced far a part so i could stretch my ears, haha my 12 year old self makes me laugh xD

But yeah, I've been stretching since i was 13 and its taken me just under 4 years to reach 9/16 (14mm) and i'm staying here. I never skipped any sizes and the only real screw ups i've had are not using lube (which i had absolutely NO idea about until the beginning of last year) and things that were out of my control, such as spontaneous allergic reactions to acrylic and o-rings.

I have thought about tattoos and, although i could get whatever i want now, i have chosen to wait until i am atleast 18 because 1) i will be able to go to any studio i want and 2) i am least likely to regret it and i will have plenty of time to plan it. Also, i would LOOOVEEE to have 1 inch lobes but i really don't think anyone my age should be altering their body to such an extent, and to be honest, i believe be happy with 9/16 lobes for the rest of my life, as long as i have classy earings :)

As for the whole offspring wanting modifications, i pretty much say, no facial piercings or stretching till highschool, then nothing too over the top and as for tattoo's, then if they are stupid enough to get it, then thats their own fault xD I mean, if they want it bad enough, they're gonna get it anyway and they will only ever learn their lessons on their own.

At school, if i notice my friends stretching, wanting to stretch, wanting piercings, etc, i always recomend them to the best piercer in adelaide, in my opinion, (suzanne at hairhouse warehouse SA,) and i always ask  what after care they have been told to do, if any of their info is not upto scratch, and i care about them, i either direct them here or dish out the advice myself :)

Think i pretty much covered everything XD

I'm pretty young (19) so here's my opinion. I personally think that nothing facial until after sixteen at least, and that stretching shouldn't be done until around 18 or older (or whenever you realize the consequences and permantness of it)

At 16 I asked to get my eyebrow pierced. My mother told me to ask again in a year (to make sure that I really wanted it and wasn't just doing it on a whim) so a year later I got my eyebrow pierced. A few months later I got my vertical labret piercing (after talking to my mother and dentist to make sure there were no problems) Just this year I got my septum pierced, but out of respect wear a retainer in the house (my parents don't like it) I started stretching around a year ago, but before I went past 14 gauge I bought a pair of 2 gauge plugs (my goal) and showed my mother, so that she would know the size I planned I go, and so that I could get her approval.

I really think communication and respect is important

Threads like this are awesome. It makes me happy seeing other responsible young people. I'm 17, and most people think I'm completely ridiculous because of my piercings and whatnot.  I've got 5/8" earlobes, 0g inner conches, 6g nostrils, a 00g philtrum, and 3 throat microdermals. It seems ridiculous for my age, but my mother is completely approving of it. I know that most people think that I'm horribly irresponsible and they just expect me to fail at life. I've already had 2 jobs, I've graduated high school, and I've been at my current job for 8 months, working 32 hours a week. My boss is totally cool with my modifications, and says that as long as I continue to work my hardest, I've got no limit.

 

When I was much younger and just starting my modification journey, I told myself that I would be and look how I wanted in my life, and that I would accept any consequences. By following that, I've found myself a workplace that pays well and accepts me, and a ton of responsibility. haha. I pay for all my own food, gas, car insurance, and half of my phone bill. My parents just pay for the other 25 of my phone bill a month, and let me stay at home. Although my mom is one of those weird moms who doesn't ever want me to leave. haha. I've worked myself into a pretty good position, and if the need arose, I'd be able to help out with any bills at home. Yay young people.

 

Eric

It's cool that you have understanding and supportive parents. It's a blessing but I think you know that.

I think many things are very much dependent on the person.  I did not get any visible tattoos until I was well into my 30s because I knew what I wanted from my career and knew that I did not need any additional barriers to getting to where I am now.  Now that I am here.. I intend to go buck wild.  But, I think in an area that has a changing tide of liberalism and conservatism and need to be able to move with that flow. 

I'm glad that I waited for my most visible mods.  The sleeve, in particular, is simply not something that I could have conceptualized (or afforded) as  teen or even in my 20s.

I don't know that I would let a youth in my care stretch their ears very large or get a tattoo.  It depends on the kid... his/her mindset, worldview and attitude.  I do know that we live in a world where women and people of color have a harder row to hoe in many places, so I might counsel them to err on the side of caution and figure out how they work in this world before doing anything drastic.  It's not about mods.. it's about the wearers ability to deal with whatever might come from having them.

 Adwoa, I think you're totally right about know what you want out of life. My family has never really had a whole lot of money, so I've learned that it's really easy to be happy without a whole lot of money, and that's why I'm good with how I am. I also made a nice choice in deciding to stick withjobs that don't deal with the public face to face. tech support ftw.

 I guess I'm yet another child. I'm 16, almost 17.

I have gone to my parents to ask permission for every piercing, and when I started stretching, as well. They don't take too kindly to it, but now that I wear a retainer in my septum all the time, my ears are the only visible thing. And they're hardly noticable. Well, yes I have a few cartilage piercings (which are stretched to a virtually unnoticeable degree), but because I have lame enormous stick-out-y ears, I just look like I have large, rather proportionate lobes if I wear solid, neutral-ish plugs (like my SF white jade in 9/16"...I love them haha).
Even if my mods were more visible and obvious, I'd be fine with them, because they're part of who I am, and they're something that I'll never regret.

I am also pretty responsible. I have a job, which I will have been at for 2 years this August. I babysit on the side for extra money, too. I pay for my clothes, gas when I have to drive my parents' cars, I paid for 1/3 of my saxophone (I paid a little over $1,000, which I had saved up), and etc. I am an honor student and take college classes on the side, I've visited a few colleges and have been interviewed, as well. I have my profession scoped out and I've been told I'm pretty amazing at what I do (speaking/teaching German).

So there's my story/explanation/whatever.

r4ch3lx:

I'm 15, and have multiple piercings and stretched lobes. You can find my posts around here somewhere about me stretching too quickly..I didn't do the research I should have done, but thankfully I started to repair the damage before it was too permanent. I'm now completely at peace with taking multiple more years to restretch and whatnot. Both of my parents are completely accepting of my lobes (now that they've seen me really become understanding of the consequences), and I'm doing it properly now, so I feel like I deserve to be at the size I'd like. I'm fulling aware they'll limit my place in the workfield, and will be there if not all of my life. I feel really well, almost ashamed I get put in the catagory of the 'stupid' kid, because I have stretched ears because "I'm immature and don't know what I'll want later in life", when I take excellent care of my ears now, and I feel like I really do understand what I'm doing to my body. I know better than to do anything like scapel or scratcher tattoos, and all of that jazz. I feel like a big ol' hypocrite saying most kids should wait to do modifications, until they know the proper info, but I do believe it. I never had anyone tell me I was stretching poorly, doing this or this wrong, and now that I do know so much more, I try to help other people my age get the right knowledge, and none of them listen so I feel like maybe I'm a little more mature (cocky, much?), seeing as I did end up doing the research, taking all the advice I could get, and executing it to save my ears before it was too late.

 

I know you THINK you know what it's like to be in the workforce and have your options limited, but you're FIFTEEN. You know it only in the most abstract sense, without the urgency that adults have with real bills piling up & limited options. I'm not saying it's not worth the sacrifice but I've said it a dozen times and I'll say it again now: WAIT until you have education and/or marketable skills to do this shit beyond anything easily hideable. Intelligence, professional appearance, excellent verbal & written communication skills, and being very very good at what you do can go a long way against your apearance but until you really understand what the implications of not making rent are, you shouldn't be doing anything permanent.