My friends got married and it was so beautiful. The parent/s on each side were there to give their daughters away and did so with joy and conviction. I cried. They both wore lovely white gowns and were so incredibly beautiful. My soul ignited when they lit the candle that symbolizes their union. I DANCED with glee and abandon at their reception and cried when M's oldest adopted son asked R. for permission to call her Mom. I made new friends and potential business connections. And I came home depressed... guh.
I am so happy for my friends. My date was my sister/friend, Rae who met M at my bday celebration last year and hit it off like sisters. It seemed fitting that I take her.. but...
I had no partner for the partners dance and slow jams and felt alone and awkward during those songs. Some of the sore spots from my farce of a commitment ceremony and failed marriage are flaring up. I feel horrible for envying their happiness. I missed MommaDivine. I miss MommaDivine. I miss being partnered and domesticated. The cold and rain.. is not helping. And still.. I need to bleed. LOL