Okay. I'm at a 00 right now. Yeah, I like it, you know, being at a size that's not very big or small. But I'm aiming for 1/2 inch and I know my mom has had issues about the stretching even when I was at a 4. I'm doing it in a safe way and I've assured her that and that I take this very seriously, but when I stretched to a 00 she was crying because she thought it was too big. I'm quite serious about stretching larger, but I'm not sure how to explain to her. Any advice? :).... :(..... :).

If I were you I'd show her all the pretties you want to buy in your goal size.. make her understand why you do it and the benefits of a larger size. I did this with my mother and she's actually bought me jewellery twice now! :) Unfortunately, you probably will never get her approval.. but you can explain to her that you do know what you're doing and that you do consider this permanent. Good luck!

 First of all how old are you? Becuase that will be important in most peoples answer... 

bluebananaeater:

 First of all how old are you? Becuase that will be important in most peoples answer... 

I agree. If you live on your own then try to explain it to her as you see it, and why you love it, and show her some of the really beautiful jewelry that's available. In the end, however, it's not her decision and she needs to understand that; if she can't learn to tolerate it then she needs to learn to ignore it. I had a huge problem with my mother seeing my mods as a personal insult to her because she thought they were so terrible and mutilating and I "knew" how she felt about it. It took quite a few heated conversations for me to get through to her that it was all about ME and had absolutely nothing to do with her or her opinions, nor did she have any right to make it about her.

If you don't live on your own then you might want to stop giving your mother grief until you move out. 00ga is a fine size to stay until you become an independent adult. Consider thanking your mother for allowing you to begin stretching despite her reservations.

splatterhouse:

In the end, however, it's not her decision and she needs to understand that; if she can't learn to tolerate it then she needs to learn to ignore it. I had a huge problem with my mother seeing my mods as a personal insult to her because she thought they were so terrible and mutilating and I "knew" how she felt about it. It took quite a few heated conversations for me to get through to her that it was all about ME and had absolutely nothing to do with her or her opinions, nor did she have any right to make it about her.

+1

from what ive noticed [beware - sexist comment coming], this seems to be a uniquely 'mom' thing to do...  fwiw, 'dads' tend to realize that independence is natural and -good- for their children...  the real question (as mentioned earlier) is 'how old are you?', which is code for 'is this something that your mom has a -right- to interfere with?'...  btw - it is -your- mom, so presumably you would know how to handle her best...  all we can do is relate our experiences and suggestions...  and -my- experience/suggestion is to decide for yourself that - whether other people want me to do something or not - is totally - none of their business...  :-)  gl, h.

harold:

from what ive noticed [beware - sexist comment coming], this seems to be a uniquely 'mom' thing to do...  fwiw, 'dads' tend to realize that independence is natural and -good- for their children... 

Hmm I disagree, at least in my case. My dad tried to come at me with pliers because of my ears, yet he has no issue with me wanting to be a tattoo artist. It depends on a lot of different factors. 

OP, maybe I can be of some help because I'm under 18 and went through this struggle with my parents. My mom had the pretty standard argument: they're ugly, they're creepy, I'm doing this to rebel, only gang bangers and druggies do that, its masculine, its unhealthy (which made me giggle because her ears have major cheese cutter issues and she doesn't pamper her ears like I do), its going to make me grow up to have tattoos (oh the horrors!), and I'll never get a job. So I wrote up a little book report if you will, about the history of stretching, why I like it, how it benefits me, and that I'm not doing it to rebel. I also got a job and suggested I wear retainers around her if my ears make her uncomfortable. It calmed her down a little. 

But I agree with the others, if you aren't living on your own, be prepared to stay at 00g or to have to remove your plugs altogether. Just stay calm and mature about the situation and do lots of research about stretching. 

 I'm a 46 year old mom with 5/8" stretched lobes that I've had for almost 10 years.  I also have a 16 year old daughter that is contemplating stretching.  When she asked me about it I didn't discourage her but asked her to think about stopping at 00ga for a few years.  This was my line of reasoning: 

Like it or not, many employers have a problem with visibly stretched lobes, especially on younger people.  There is a stereotypical view-untrue though it is-that edgier people are potential problem employees.  Yes, I know that totally sucks but it's reality.  I think as younger people become professionals that will change but it's still out there for now.  When your lobes are a bit smaller you can fly under their radar as smaller jewelery looks like regular earrings.  Also, if for ANY reason you ever want to downsize to 14ga or smaller you can still do that with most holes 00ga or smaller.  Right now you might not think you'll ever want to do that but allowing yourself that option for a few years is a good thing.  There is some really cool jewelry out there in smaller sizes too,

Just some food for thought.

dauphine:

Also, if for ANY reason you ever want to downsize to 14ga or smaller you can still do that with most holes 00ga or smaller.

Um, no. Way too many factors go into that, and most holes will not return to 14g. I've known people that couldn't get their ears back to standard size, and they had only stretched to 6g. I've seen someone's 00g lobes return to 18g, but that was only because they went way too fast. It definitely varies person to person, and it needs to be considered permanent. And the longer you've been stretched, the more permanent it is. 

babypietattoo:

Um, no. Way too many factors go into that, and most holes will not return to 14g.

That's just not true.  While I realize that everybody's different, I've known plenty of people over the years that have been able to shrink down with no problems.  Like stretching up, it requires patience and common sense.

dauphine:

That's just not true.  While I realize that everybody's different, I've known plenty of people over the years that have been able to shrink down with no problems.  Like stretching up, it requires patience and common sense.

Even so, the widely accepted point of no return is 2g to 0g. I think its irresponsible to view it as so reversible. 

Anywho, I wish the OP would fill us in with some more details so I can get back on topic 

babypietattoo:

Even so, the widely accepted point of no return is 2g to 0g. I think its irresponsible to view it as so reversible. 

I'd like more details myself, but having been in the bodmod world for over 20 years I know that the issue isn't that black and white.  Correct information is essential when stretching and irukandjitoast is requesting it.

 I'll tell you what I did.  Once my dad realized what I was doing to my ears, he was pretty unhappy, but didnt really think too much of it until I was at maybe 0g and I had nice tunnels where he could really see the diameter.  I had really wanted these glass plugs when I was 15 or so, and he promised to buy them for me if I promised not to stretch again.  Well, I didn't.  But a few years later I realized I wanted to stretch again and I bought the plugs myself at the larger size to maybe he wouldnt notice that I'd stretched from 0g to 1/2" (mind you I did this over a course of a few years though).  Well it fooled him for a little bit but when I wore tunnels he really wasnt an idiot; he knew.  So my advice is, haha, don't lie like me, but maybe say something to your mom like "hey mom I want to be at this size and I will not stretch again. If you buy these for me it'll be my promise."  And pick a decently nice pair.  And explain to her that if you stretch again, it's like throwing money away because the older plugs and such become to small.  What I did was to keep myself as 1/2" was I invested quite a bit of $$ on jewelry as in incentive for me to not stretch.  I want to be at 3/4" one day but it's hard because of my job, but it's so tempting but not a good idea.  So that's what I did to at least keep my promise to myself as well.   

 thanks for all of your input guys :) i guess i'll think about it a little more, maybe even give it another year until i even start stretching again :0 my mom didn't even notice i was stretching until i was at 2g xP. someday i'll give her a well thought out talk about it, thank you all again :) SOMEDAY THOUGH!!!!!! ;)

 (oh yeah, im 15, so that makes my moms point of veiw maybe a little more understandable)

 Kudos to you for being able to understand your mom's POV, even though you disagree/don't like it.

 Thanks :) ha, my boyfriends been begging me not to because he likes carving wood plugs for me and doesn't want to make them that large :p and he's at a 2g and thinks 1/2 is" too big" but boys don't matter as much as my mom :)