So, I've wanted a piercing for about 2-3 years. I just recently turned 16, and I've decided to talk to my parents about getting one - specifically a monroe. I spoke to my dad. He was hesitant at first but after i talked with him for about a half an hour, he said that he'll think about it. My dad also said he wanted me to talk to my mom about it. I thought that the hardest part would be convincing my dad. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. I've been searching information on the monroe piercing for a couple of weeks so I know a lot of information. Tonight, I got the courage to speak to my mom about it like a mature person. Basically, I asked her if i could get a monroe piercing. She kind of gave me a disgusted look and asked me what it was. I told her that it was a small piercing above the upper lip. Without another thought, she raised her hand up and said she didn't want to talk about it. I hate when my mom refuses to let me express my thoughts and opinions. It makes me feel like she doesn't care what I have to say. So i continued speaking to her and trying to get her to just here me out. Eventually we got into some kind of discussion. She said that I couldn't get it because (a) she doesn't like it and "No child of mine is going to get crap on their face" (b) no one else in my family has any piercings (c) it's not what Haitian people do. I just think all of these excuses are completely and totally barbaric as well as close-minded. She could have said I'll think about it or maybe if i can know more about it. I told her that piercings are common these days, that i would pay for it myself, it wouldn't affect my grades, and that if it was appropriately taken care of, it would heal just fine. She proceeded by telling me I'm disrespectful. I thought she was being disrespectful and rude. She was yelling at me by the end of the conversation. I didn't yell at her once. I've never had alcohol or any other drugs and I'm no where near promiscuous. If I'm a good child what's the big deal? She told me that I would have to wait till I'm 21 to get any piercings and if i got one anytime before that, she would kick me out of the house. Then she left for work. Unfortunately, neither of my older sisters (whom are over 21) have piercings. My eldest sister just doesn't like them on herself. My other sister had her cartilage pierced after she turned 18 but before she turned 21 and my mom made her take it out the second she picked her up from college.

 I know I probably sound like someone who is rushy and impatient but I don't want to have to wait another 5 years. I probably could wait till I turned 18. That's only 2 years from now. But 5 years? That's a little long. My mom just has this real hard bias against piercings. And it's difficult to have a parent who doesn't like half the stuff you do and refuses to let you be your own person just because they don't have any interests similar to yours.

Why should there be a problem with a piercing, if it's not going to affect me as a person? Is there some way that I can show my mom that piercings aren't as bad as she thinks? That maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't kill her if one of her children wanted a piercing and break from what people of their race find "acceptable"? 

here's the thing, you could get it when you turn 18 and move out of her house or you could wait like she asked and still live with her

Well you do live under their roof, and they are paying for you're stuff. My parents wouldnt let me get anything pierced, and told me they'd kick me out if I ever got anything without their approval. Went away to school and got a couple piercings, came home had a small screaming match and now things are pretty good, but I know my parents and knew thats how it would end up. But really, if you truly want it, waiting isnt that bad. Especially if doing what you want can compromise your living situation or other important things in your life.

Yeah. I see what you are saying. There really isn't much I can do except wait. And I would never get it done at those shady places where they don't check I.D. Sometimes I do wish my mom could see things through my eyes. I think piercings are beautiful and I really wish she would understand that.

I feel ya, babe. My mom still doesn't like them, but since I don't live with her, there's nothing much she can do. I just hide them when I go see her, even though she knows I have them, mainly out of respect for my poor mother. You seem responsible enough and I'm glad you researched it. If you'd like to move out and get a full time job and maintain an apartment at 18, go right ahead... but if you do get the piercing do not, I repeat Do Not go to your mom asking for money or help for anything... trust me. That sucks.

 Have you tried talking to dad again and maybe see if he can help you to have a real conversation with mom about it? Sometimes having reinforcements can help. Other option is to stay respectful and keep trying. 

yeah like everyones saying just wait till your 18.. i had to... my mom told me that that i had to wait till i was 18 where i could sign for it to be done... and plus i paid for my Labret with my own money.. but my ears and snakebites was sorta like a gift.... but thankfully my parents are cool with piercings.... (my mom has her nose pierced) and they don't mind me having them.. they just don't want me to go all extreme with my body mods...

but yeah just wait till your 18... it will be alot easier then..

i am younger then you and i got my piercings about a year ago. my parents just made me pay for them myself so they knew i understood that if i wouldnt want them anymore that it was my fault for paying for them. also they just had a long talk about how if i need to take them out i will have scars and such.