ok well Ive had my septum for about a year and am at a 14g and am thinking about stretching problem is that idk if its in my cartilage at all and I heard stretching cartilage hurts A LOT which i rly don't want but is anyone able to give me any advice on how to tell if it is or not? This question doesnt rly go in this section but i was also wondering if the clear septum retainers do a better job at hiding ur septum rather than the black ones.

 I love glass retainers at smaller sizes...

As far as your piercing, it should be in the "sweet spot" which is really fleshy... if its there it should be easy to stretch. There might be a slight sting, or runny nose but thats over in a few minutes... 

It might sound gross, but you might want to stick your fingers up your nose and feel around. Your piercing should be through a soft fleshy spot or the "sweet spot" as pointed out. I also recommend trying BAF's septum bullet keepers, I found them to be great for stretching and hiding the piercing.

Stick your fingers up there and you can feel where the cartilage starts.  If your piercing is up  any higher than that, it may be safe to say that it is through the cartilage. 

You could also run over to your piercer's and ask them to check for you.