This is my current favourite:
lilitha: Jesus freaking hugged me in my dreams o_O
jakesimpson: what if he touched you inappropriately?
jakesimpson: i died for your sins. i think you owe me something.
jakesimpson: *fondle*
Bob telling me how to make pancakes:
bob: 1/2 cup flour, tbsp 2 sugar, 2 tbsp baking powder, 1/8th tsp salt, 2 tbsp veg oil, 1 cum soy milk
bob: damnit
Lilitha - Magpie in a Former Life: made my day all better
Jagerick: Magpie in a Former Life: made my day all wetter
Jagerick: is how I read that at first